The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
