Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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