Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize