You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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