My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
