my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize