he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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