Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Vodka?
Forever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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