he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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