what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
