that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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