she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
