Dual....:-)
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize