apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
