you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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