Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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