drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
