Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
