i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
