His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
