In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
