Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
