I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
