I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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