she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
