Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
