once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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