Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
