dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
