what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize