we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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