I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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