4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
