Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
