But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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