Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
