i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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