I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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