Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
