I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We have started to decorate penises.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
