So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
did i just pee glitter
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
