At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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