i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
