But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i barfeds in our rink
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
