I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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