You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
