32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
