how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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