Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
