gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
