i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
