Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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