Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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