I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm at about main and main street
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
