marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize