Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am one with the molecules
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
