I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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