he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
